your ears heard everything
from the back room to the front door
your story was everywhere on the floor
with broken glass and empty pill bottles
don't do this, don't do this

your dreams can save you tonight
close your eyes, but just for tonight
you can hide under the covers
and wake up to a brand new light

i know your bones break, your skin burns
there's still water in the well
a stringless bucket at the bottom
there's still time left in this hour

shake your name, shake your way
move past the lies
(you swallowed the truth)

I had a good day today. Sure, I woke up a bit too late for a shower, and doused my hair in hairspray to keep the grease at bay, but it was all good. Plus, I love the way Garnier smells.

In zero period, Jen and I both walked into the office late. We both didn't quite care. "What time is it?" "It's 7:04," Jen replied. "Crap, we're late." "To be honest, I don't care." And on we walked, her heels clicking and clacking, my converse sounding off in hollow steps. I put in my contacts and finished my history homework.

In first period, I faced the wrath of the fire breathing dragon called Mr. Alvelais. You know, for his cruel words that he speaks to us in, but we did a lab today; so I didn't care. None of us did really. We did a lame titration lab- without the use of a buret(my favorite part about doing labs with a buret is being able to climb ontop of the table so that you could see the meniscus). We all miscounted drops of sodium hydroxide and put way too much phenalphaline in our solutions. It was a good day in chem. Also, our test was pushed back to Tuesday.

Second period was more Dreamweaver and tweaking our websites. I didn't quite care about it today either, so I read all of these news articles. One was about autism, and the rest were all soccer/Manchester United/English Premiere Leage/Tevez centric.

Third period we had Mr. Krikorian(sp?)as our sub. I love it when I have him for a sub. We read a handout about a tennis match that changed women's athletics, and then watched a video about the student/youth movement in the 60s. This class, I cared about.

Fourth period we were broken off into groups and we read chapter 9 and 10 from Catcher in the Rye. This class, I cared about.

During lunch I was eating one of those turkey sandwiches, since I was feeling like some sour dough bread. Only, it was lacking something... some flavor, a certain taste, texture. So as I rattled my brain for the answer, it came to me; mustard. They lacked mustard. So Jennifer and I went on a quest for mustard to the other satellite kitchen infront of the F building. We hit jackpot. Not only did I get my mustard, but Jennifer got her salad cup(the square one with the pickles on the bottom). Back to our group we were. I sat down content with my lunch and mustard. Jennifer was talking to Lora about a private matter for a bit, so I zoned out and looked at the wall. When Jennifer comes back, I didn't notice. She took that to her advantage and shoved the whole cup of shredded lettuce down my shirt. She forced her hand down my shirt, held it open, and dumped lettuce inside of it. I cringed and tired to move, but she persisted until all of the lettuce was on me. In shirt my t-shirt, inside my tank top, inside my bra, tangled in my hair; everywhere. When I recovered from laughing, all I could say was, "It's cold!" I didn't get mad at her for the lettuce; it's tradition. Instead, I was mad at her because I dropped my mustard packet. It's ok though, I had more.

In fifth period, I laid my head down for a bit until class started. Christina wasn't there, so I wasn't very talkative. I took notes when I needed too, and laid my head down when I didn't. Christina came to class during the last ten minutes. In a bright green dress. We all walked to the art show for the last of class.

Sixth period was spent in the art show. After Jeffra and I looked at everything, we grabbed a table under the trees on the green and chilled. We talked about senior pranks and music.

Before I start talking about after school, let me clarify what I mean when I say "I didn't care". It's not the angsty "I don't care about life!", it's the happy-go-lucky "I don't care, I'm just that happy right now". You catch?

After school I ate a bit, watched some TV, and started on my history homework. I was feeling a bit bored, so I put on my favorite dress and played some music. Radiohead and Jimi Hendrix. I danced around like a hippie at Woodstock, and you know what? I didn't care.

So I walked to my mother's for dinner. Still playing Jimi Hendrix in my ears and replaying Woodstock in my head. There was a stray patch of white daisies in the grass that made me smile. I jacket wouldn't stay on my shoulders and I walked with my eyes wide and a smirk on my face.
-Because I know something that you don't know.

altiiieX (1:48:13 AM): i need to sleep...
RECKLESSbyfar (1:48:16 AM): yeah
RECKLESSbyfar (1:48:28 AM): let's go!
RECKLESSbyfar (1:48:29 AM): dude
RECKLESSbyfar (1:48:37 AM): what if we have the same exact dream?
altiiieX (1:48:47 AM): AS LONG AS NO PHONES ARE BEING CHUCKED.
altiiieX (1:48:49 AM): wait.
altiiieX (1:48:51 AM): we need to like..
altiiieX (1:48:54 AM): think of a plot line.
altiiieX (1:48:59 AM): so that when we sleep.
altiiieX (1:49:00 AM): it
altiiieX (1:49:04 AM): s what we think about.
RECKLESSbyfar (1:49:21 AM): ok...
altiiieX (1:49:57 AM): oh c'mon, we talk about keeping ryro and bden and then you dream of their closet.
RECKLESSbyfar (1:50:11 AM): yeah but you didn't
altiiieX (1:50:19 AM): yeaaah...
altiiieX (1:50:25 AM): i make up my own plot lines :]
RECKLESSbyfar (1:50:36 AM): ...what if you did and just can't remember it???
altiiieX (1:50:41 AM): take that smiley how ever you will.
altiiieX (1:50:45 AM): OMG WHAT IF I DID?!??
altiiieX (1:50:49 AM): CREEPYYY.
RECKLESSbyfar (1:50:56 AM): O_O
altiiieX (1:51:01 AM): i thought that onlyhappens when your high with someone...
RECKLESSbyfar (1:51:12 AM): we get straight edge high together
altiiieX (1:51:17 AM): EFF YEAH!
RECKLESSbyfar (1:52:36 AM): ...what if we had a circle like in That 70's Show?
RECKLESSbyfar (1:52:39 AM): who would be in it?
altiiieX (1:52:43 AM): you...
altiiieX (1:52:44 AM): me...
altiiieX (1:52:53 AM): alyssa gets freaky sometimes.
altiiieX (1:53:00 AM): LOL I WANT RONNIE AND PETER!
RECKLESSbyfar (1:53:02 AM): Marcus?
altiiieX (1:53:03 AM): and marcus!
RECKLESSbyfar (1:53:05 AM): LOL
altiiieX (1:53:05 AM): and nick!
RECKLESSbyfar (1:53:06 AM): YES
altiiieX (1:53:07 AM): maybe...
RECKLESSbyfar (1:53:13 AM): ronnie and peterr...
altiiieX (1:53:17 AM): DUDE. SCOTT COULD BE KACIE!
altiiieX (1:53:21 AM): *JACKIE.
altiiieX (1:53:23 AM): ONLY... UGLY.
RECKLESSbyfar (1:53:26 AM): OMG.
RECKLESSbyfar (1:53:27 AM): LOL
altiiieX (1:53:44 AM): ronnie should be hyde lol.
altiiieX (1:53:48 AM): I WANNA BE FOREMAN!
altiiieX (1:53:59 AM): or...
altiiieX (1:54:07 AM): NO RONNIE IS FEZ FOR THE ACCENT.
altiiieX (1:54:10 AM): pete is hyde!
altiiieX (1:54:17 AM): *peter.
RECKLESSbyfar (1:54:23 AM): who's Kelso?
altiiieX (1:54:28 AM): ...marcus?
altiiieX (1:54:30 AM): no, he's smart.
altiiieX (1:54:32 AM): nick!
altiiieX (1:55:10 AM): cindy could be the mom. kitty.
altiiieX (1:55:12 AM): AHAH.
altiiieX (1:55:21 AM): lol charlton as red...
RECKLESSbyfar (1:55:45 AM): LOL
altiiieX (1:55:52 AM): what are we gonna pass?
altiiieX (1:55:57 AM): bowls of brown sugar?
altiiieX (1:55:59 AM): soda?
RECKLESSbyfar (1:56:11 AM): pixie stix.
altiiieX (1:56:14 AM): YES.
altiiieX (1:56:16 AM): and soda.
RECKLESSbyfar (1:56:20 AM): yes
RECKLESSbyfar (1:56:30 AM): am I Kelso?
RECKLESSbyfar (1:56:33 AM): ...eek
altiiieX (1:56:39 AM): no.. that's nick.
altiiieX (1:56:41 AM): who are you...
altiiieX (1:56:45 AM): idk who i am.
altiiieX (1:57:01 AM): but i'll be foreman so i could be the scrawny geeky kid.
RECKLESSbyfar (1:57:03 AM): I'm not Laurie!
altiiieX (1:57:03 AM): idk.
altiiieX (1:57:06 AM): LOL.
RECKLESSbyfar (1:57:10 AM): OH I wanna be Randy!
altiiieX (1:57:10 AM): THAT'S KARINA!
altiiieX (1:57:16 AM): who's randy...??
RECKLESSbyfar (1:57:22 AM): last season!
RECKLESSbyfar (1:57:29 AM): after Eric leaves?
RECKLESSbyfar (1:57:59 AM): works at Grooves with Hyde
RECKLESSbyfar (1:58:03 AM): dates Donna
altiiieX (1:58:14 AM): oh, kelso's brother?
RECKLESSbyfar (1:58:16 AM): no
RECKLESSbyfar (1:58:18 AM): that's Casey
altiiieX (1:58:23 AM): OH I KNOW WHO NOW.
altiiieX (1:58:33 AM): who am iiiiii?!???
RECKLESSbyfar (1:59:07 AM): we still have Donna, Eric, Bob, Leo, Midge...
RECKLESSbyfar (1:59:13 AM): Brooke
RECKLESSbyfar (1:59:26 AM): the girl Kelso got pregnant, the smart pretty librarian...
RECKLESSbyfar (1:59:43 AM): Samantha, Hyde's stripper wife. LOL no that's not you
altiiieX (1:59:45 AM): ME! WHAT THE HELL...
altiiieX (1:59:57 AM): can i be donna? shoot. i'll be leo.
altiiieX (2:00:08 AM): i do get weird when i'm straightedge waisted...
RECKLESSbyfar (2:00:09 AM): you can be Donna
altiiieX (2:00:20 AM): sweet, i'm a girl that's one of the guys.
RECKLESSbyfar (2:00:38 AM): LOL Rhonda
altiiieX (2:00:59 AM): AHAHA.
RECKLESSbyfar (2:01:00 AM): or Caroline
RECKLESSbyfar (2:02:01 AM): ok ok
RECKLESSbyfar (2:02:15 AM): so Pete's Hyde, Ronnie's Fez, you're Donna, I'm Randy...
RECKLESSbyfar (2:02:17 AM): OMG WE DATE
RECKLESSbyfar (2:02:18 AM): WTF
altiiieX (2:02:26 AM): LOL.
altiiieX (2:02:35 AM): AHHH.
altiiieX (2:02:37 AM): AHHHHHH.
altiiieX (2:02:40 AM): AAHHHHHHHHHHH.
altiiieX (2:02:41 AM): NO.
RECKLESSbyfar (2:02:45 AM): AND YOU DUMPED ME!
altiiieX (2:02:51 AM): we need new characters.
altiiieX (2:02:58 AM): IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S ME, I SWEAR!
RECKLESSbyfar (2:03:03 AM): LOL
RECKLESSbyfar (2:03:11 AM): she actually does say that I think
altiiieX (2:03:17 AM): LOL.
RECKLESSbyfar (2:04:05 AM): ok
RECKLESSbyfar (2:04:53 AM): we need less characters
altiiieX (2:05:20 AM): yeahh..
altiiieX (2:05:25 AM): we need to stick to the circle.
RECKLESSbyfar (2:06:20 AM): Eric, Kelso, Fez, Hyde, (then sometimes Leo, Donna, Jackie), later on Randy
altiiieX (2:06:28 AM): k.
altiiieX (2:06:33 AM): fez is ronnie.
altiiieX (2:06:44 AM): peter is hyde? yeah, they both got quick comebacks.
RECKLESSbyfar (2:06:55 AM): and listen to weird music...
RECKLESSbyfar (2:06:56 AM): lol
altiiieX (2:07:09 AM): LOL.
RECKLESSbyfar (2:07:44 AM): ok
RECKLESSbyfar (2:07:55 AM): kelso?
altiiieX (2:08:06 AM): for who?
RECKLESSbyfar (2:08:10 AM): idk
altiiieX (2:08:10 AM): nic?
RECKLESSbyfar (2:08:12 AM): I'm asking you
RECKLESSbyfar (2:08:21 AM): think womanizer
RECKLESSbyfar (2:08:54 AM): I think Deza makes a good Kelso
altiiieX (2:09:21 AM): YES
RECKLESSbyfar (2:09:47 AM): who's Eric?
altiiieX (2:10:13 AM): ...everett, and angelina is dona.
RECKLESSbyfar (2:10:35 AM): I think Everett even had star wars cut outs in his room
altiiieX (2:10:40 AM): LOL.
RECKLESSbyfar (2:10:56 AM): ok, who's left?
RECKLESSbyfar (2:11:15 AM): Leo, Jackie, and Randy
altiiieX (2:11:19 AM): mkay..
altiiieX (2:11:23 AM): i guess i'm leo?
altiiieX (2:11:35 AM): or jackie since i flip out?
RECKLESSbyfar (2:11:36 AM): I could be Jackie or Randy.
RECKLESSbyfar (2:11:41 AM): I'm vain.
altiiieX (2:11:41 AM): no, you can be jackie.
altiiieX (2:11:48 AM): since you flip out more than me:]
RECKLESSbyfar (2:11:52 AM): ...gee thanks
RECKLESSbyfar (2:11:55 AM): :P
altiiieX (2:12:02 AM): LOL YOU AND PETER AND DEZA DATE.
RECKLESSbyfar (2:12:11 AM): .....that's awkwarddd
RECKLESSbyfar (2:12:18 AM): OMG and I call Deza, "Michael!"
RECKLESSbyfar (2:12:19 AM): LOL
altiiieX (2:12:22 AM): i'm just a druggie :]
altiiieX (2:12:25 AM): AHAHAHA!
altiiieX (2:12:28 AM): PERFECT!
RECKLESSbyfar (2:12:48 AM): ok. SO
RECKLESSbyfar (2:13:29 AM): Leo: You. Me: Jackie. Fez: Ronnie, Pete: Hyde, Everett: Eric, Angelinah: Donna, Kelso: Dez
RECKLESSbyfar (2:13:46 AM): is that everyone?
altiiieX (2:13:55 AM): randy?
RECKLESSbyfar (2:14:15 AM): we'll just be the first seasons
altiiieX (2:14:22 AM): and i think charlton and cindy should be red and kitty.
RECKLESSbyfar (2:14:31 AM): but Cindy's more like Red
altiiieX (2:14:36 AM): LOL.
RECKLESSbyfar (2:15:20 AM): she's more of the speak her mind, no BS, I'm right you're wrong
RECKLESSbyfar (2:15:42 AM): Charlton's more of the, "Hey guys! what's up? Let's not fight"
altiiieX (2:15:54 AM): mkay,
RECKLESSbyfar (2:16:03 AM): ....so weird
altiiieX (2:16:09 AM): who's scott?
altiiieX (2:16:13 AM): I KNOW WHO!
altiiieX (2:16:25 AM): THAT ONE MIDGET KID THAT FOREMAN FIGHTS DONNA OVER.
RECKLESSbyfar (2:16:28 AM): ...Mitch?
altiiieX (2:16:36 AM): or fights over for donna.
altiiieX (2:16:37 AM): yeah!
RECKLESSbyfar (2:16:41 AM): the red head?
altiiieX (2:16:45 AM): yeah!
RECKLESSbyfar (2:16:48 AM): THATS PERFECT
altiiieX (2:16:54 AM): eff yeah!
RECKLESSbyfar (2:16:54 AM): cuz NO ONE LIKES MITCH!
RECKLESSbyfar (2:17:19 AM): alright
RECKLESSbyfar (2:17:22 AM): we're gooood
RECKLESSbyfar (2:17:31 AM): so we're all chillin at the Foremans'
RECKLESSbyfar (2:17:45 AM): who am I dating?
RECKLESSbyfar (2:18:01 AM): ...dude Jackie dates Kelso, Hyde, then Fez
altiiieX (2:18:02 AM): umm... idk...
altiiieX (2:18:08 AM): LOL I KNOW
RECKLESSbyfar (2:18:37 AM): .......
RECKLESSbyfar (2:18:39 AM): DAMMIT!
RECKLESSbyfar (2:18:48 AM): ok fine
RECKLESSbyfar (2:18:57 AM): if i had to choose...I'd date Pete. So Hyde
altiiieX (2:19:02 AM): ok.
RECKLESSbyfar (2:19:15 AM): who's YOUR best friend
RECKLESSbyfar (2:19:31 AM): because Leo and Hyde are like bffs.
altiiieX (2:19:47 AM): OMG YOU'RE RIGHT!
RECKLESSbyfar (2:19:56 AM): this is kinda freaky
RECKLESSbyfar (2:20:21 AM): ok I really need to sleep
altiiieX (2:21:15 AM): alright.
RECKLESSbyfar (2:21:23 AM): for reals
RECKLESSbyfar (2:21:24 AM): good night
altiiieX (2:21:57 AM): night jackie.
RECKLESSbyfar (2:22:03 AM): night Leo.
RECKLESSbyfar signed off at 2:22:08 AM.
RECKLESSbyfar is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back in.
RECKLESSbyfar signed on at 6:17:57 AM.
RECKLESSbyfar (6:18:59 AM): I didn't dream about the circle AT ALL. I had a nightmare instead about vampire chimpanzees. I know it sounds funny but it was flipping scary.

Yeah, my head growls. It's growling right now. There's this thing in my head that's growling like a lion beast on steroids that hasn't eaten for weeks. It's a mothering crazy monster. And it's alive.

Today was a bad day for me. Bad bad bad bad bad bad bad. BAD. Horrible. Disastrous. Ok, not really on that level, but you know me. With my chemical imbalances, everything goes from 0 to 10 in a half second(0 being nothing, and 10 being OMG KILL ME NOW).

I woke up too late and too damn tired from not being able to sleep, again. Ugh... really, I need sleeping pills. Maybe I ought to down a whole bottle of Nyquil. That would be a trip. I'll save that for a day when I don't have to wake up at 6am the next morning. Sunday night would be perfect. No school on Monday!
-back to my rant-
Woke up irritated, cold, and skinny. Yeah, we all lose about a pound or two of water weight as we sleep and I loved my mirror before I started feeling insanely hungry. Goodbye hip bones; see you in three days. I put in my contacts, which made my eyes hurt, and rushed my way to zero period. In fear that I would get yelled at by Ms. Osborne, I made up some "My cousin is in the hospital and frantic phone calls were being made all morning from Mexico" facade, and gained her sympathy. Therefore, bypassing all intense vocals. All zero period, I was entering grades in for her seconds and fourth period classes. So I didn't get a chance to work on my homework like I was planning to do.
In first period we were going over notes and stupid, stupid, stupid Mr. A had to talk down to us like we were special ed kids, and to be quite frank; I just don't have the patience to put up with him anymore. Not one bit. So in my haste to fight the waking migraine being caused by him, I shot out answers left and right. There's an upside to being a pack rat and having all of your notes from last year.
Second period is usually where I calm myself down. I finished blogging for focusonfdigitalmedia.org, printed my two FrontPage assignments, read up on the latest, and played some solitaire.
Third period I worked on our Civil Rights Movement poster with Iman. She noticed I was still kinda out of it. We got the most of our work done, and I volunteered to take it home and finish the drawing, coloring, and cutting.
In fourth period we were given our new essay assignment, which is part of this big huge project the DBA is doing. We're going to be given a song to analyze that has to do with the Civil Rights Movement, and then write a four page essay. We have a month to complete this. No sweat. Quotation explication. My best.
Lunch was full of ups and downs. Up; I'm happy, I'm throwing food at Draemon(and hitting him hard), I'm eating good food, I'm happy. Down; I'm sick, I'm cold, I'm tired, I'm depressed, I'm annoyed, I'm on edge, I'm paranoid, I'm quite the opposite of happy. The rain was fine and dandy, don't get me wrong.
Fifth period was an insanely loud SSR that did not help the dormant migraine sleep, nor my thoughts as I was trying to write. We reviewed for a test, and then took the test. It was so EFFING EASY! I don't understand how people can be confused by the explicit formula for a sequence. I really need to get out of here. Towards the end of 5th period I was so on edge, I was like a stray, skiddish cat...with claws.
Sixth period was the last of our presentations, and a few discussions.
After school I took the bus home with Emily, and walked the short distance to my house in the rain.

Now here's the part where it starts to get good.
What the hell. Not a single word in hours. Thanks. No really, thanks. And I don't care if I am beating myself up over this. It's my decision to make, and I've made it.

I knew this was a bad idea. It's already starting to get to me.

I think I might visit an old friend tonight.

altiiieX (10:12:59 PM): that's like in english when i wrote a script about macbeth.
altiiieX (10:13:03 PM): but as highschool prom.
altiiieX (10:13:05 PM): last year.
altiiieX (10:13:07 PM): it was amazing.
altiiieX (10:13:13 PM): then we acted it out.
altiiieX (10:13:14 PM): amazing.
pedantfool (10:13:21 PM): do you still have it?
altiiieX (10:13:39 PM): somewhere.
altiiieX (10:13:51 PM): we had to write it on no knowledge about macbeth.
altiiieX (10:14:14 PM): all we were given were things like "this character is power greedy" and "this character is so and so's son"
----------



S Narrator: Good morning Smithville High! Today is Monday the 3rd, and that means it's the start of prom week! Don't forget to buy your prom ticket. This week is also campaign week for student body elections. I know who I'm voting for, do you?
Macbeth: hey, let's go get our prom tickets.
LM: how about you go buy them while i go and score us some votes?
narra: macbeth walks away to go buy tickets while lady macbeth goes in search of her part time lover.
Vice president: hey baby cakes. you ditch that loser?
Lady macbeth: hey, and no. you know i can't, not until i'm crowned queen. then ill ditch that stiff and i'll be all yours.
Narra: but what they didn't know was that the teacher's pet was listening to their conversation the whole time. The teacher's pet goes tot he evil Cummins' room and tells him what he heard.
Teacher's pet: Cummins! OH-EM-GEE! you won't believe what i heard! Lady Macbeth is cheating on Macbeth with the Vice President of student counsil! OH MY GAW!
Narra: in the hall way the band geek prepares to ask out a random girl and gets rejected!
band geek: will you help me clean my spit valve... and go to prom with me? What?!? FINE! PROM IS OVERRATED!!
narra: the band geek walks away with his hopes and dream shattered.
Gothic kid #1: did you hear that? the band geek thinks prom is overrated.
gothic kid #2: eh.
gothic kid #1: you know what, i think you're right.
-end scene-

scene 3
ASB President: Prom! Prom! Prom! I just- the committee... and ASB meeting. i just don't have enough time.
Vice president: dude, chill. We'll get through this and graduate and everything will be okay. the main thing is that the King and Queen get crowned.
-end scene-

scene 4
Prom King: Hey hun, get any votes?
Prom Queen: Yeah, i got one... and then some.
narra: the teacher's pet walks by and drops a side remark.
Teacher's pet: i bet.
Prom King: what?
Prom Queen: oh nothing.
Narra: prom king leans in for a kiss, but she turns her head. ouch, rejection.
Prom queen: Nuh uh! Not until prom!
Narra: the teacher's pet walks by again.
Teacher's pet: smooth Romeo.
-end scene-

Scene 5
Narrator: The teachers pet walks through an empty hallway and hears footsepts behind him.
Teacher's Pet: who's there?
Narra: He get's no answer -Dun dun dunnn- and continues to walk until two dark figures appear infron of him. Just before he turns around to run-
Gothic Kid #1: Hey, wait.
Band Geek: W-what?
Gothic Kid #1: So we heard about your prom dilema.
Band Geek: w-what about it?
Narra: after a long discussion, the gothic kids and the band geek form and alliance.
Gothic Kid#1:Let's crash prom night!
-end scene-

Scene 6
Narra: The teacher's pet talks to cummins about a three day U2 festival.
teacher's Pet: Cummins! U2 festival! We need to go! let's rent a motor home and stay all three days! Yay U2!
-end scene-

Scene 7
Narra: the prom queen is busy getting her dress on and her hair and makeup done. Meanwhile the prom king is about ten minutes from her house, ready to pick her up in a limo. As that takes place, the gothic kids and the band geek are gathering their supplies to sabotage prom. Aside from this prom mania, cummins and his pet are gathering an endless supply of cheetos, energy drinks, and a huge jar of pickles. At the venue, the ASB president and vice president are setting up prom. In three seperate cars, each party is awaiting their fate. In the limo-
Prom King: I can't believe it's actually prom!
Prom Queen: And i can't believe how good you look tonight.
Narra: In the other car-
Band Geek: Alright, so once i get inside i'll set the mice in place and you guys will get the laughing gas in the vents, right?
gothic Kid #2: eh.
Gothic Kid #1: she says she'll wait for you to call so she can turn the valve.
Band Geek: i have no clue how you understand her...
Gothic Kid #1: years of practice my friend.
Narra: and in the motor home-
Teacher's Pet: Un, dos, tres, catorce! Come on Cummins, sing with me!
Narra: As they all drive along the free way in their happy little world surround by four doors of metal they all merge off and into a major road. the all come along to the same intersection, each coming from different directions. What they don't know is that the limo driver is on cocaine and can't see straight, the quiet gothic kid that is driving hasn't taken her bi-polar medicine and is twitching right now, and Cummins is going 60 down the street so he can get Bono's signature. Approaching the light they all get caught in the moment. The limo driver mistakes the red light for green and drives right through, Nearly missing the car with the gothic kids and the band geek. The cars hit eachother with minor damages. Coming from the east, pedestrains see a motor home speeding by at insanely fast speeds, driven non other than my Cummins. While singing happily to "Vertigo" with his pet, he doesn't see the car wreck infront of him. Without a care in the worl he collides into both cars. Looking like a stack off metal pancakes, the prom king and queen never get crowned, the gothic kids and the bank geek never sabotoge prom, and Cummins never gets bono autograph. Two day later after hearing about the death of his secret lover, the vice president commits suicide.

coreoftheapple25 (5:54:40 PM): what happened this time?
altiiieX (5:55:03 PM): coach james is still an idiot at coaching.
altiiieX (5:55:05 PM): lost 3-1.
altiiieX (5:55:13 PM): alina made the goal.
altiiieX (5:55:29 PM): it was really sweet. she was center and she just booted it up and into the goal.
altiiieX (5:55:37 PM): straight over defense's heads.
altiiieX (5:55:50 PM): oh, kim finally showed up to a game.
altiiieX (5:56:34 PM): idc if she was in the hospital and sick, if she's physically fine now, don't freaking play her. she hasn't made it to any practices. sure, she's been sick but she's ok now. so wait until she makes the practices.
altiiieX (5:56:43 PM): coach took out kelly as forward.
altiiieX (5:57:00 PM): he put kim as forward for kelly, alina on defense, and kelly as left inside mid.
altiiieX (5:57:03 PM): it was so bad!
altiiieX (5:57:28 PM): kelly wasn't used to mid and didn't know what to do much. alina played too far up since she's used to mid and kim just sucks.
altiiieX (5:57:45 PM): and you know how we always say to stay man on man for defense?
altiiieX (5:57:56 PM): well diana decides that's the worst plan in world.
coreoftheapple25 (5:57:57 PM): WTF
altiiieX (5:58:11 PM): because apparently she can't run and keep up with her person when they sprint off.
altiiieX (5:58:24 PM): well honey, the point of man on man is so that you block their run!
coreoftheapple25 (5:58:26 PM): wow i hate everyone
coreoftheapple25 (5:58:44 PM): (not the good people, like you)
altiiieX (5:58:45 PM): and freaking genevra! she took my player.
altiiieX (5:58:52 PM): omg that pissed me off so much.
coreoftheapple25 (5:58:57 PM): SHE NEVER STAYS IN POSITION
altiiieX (5:59:01 PM): she doesn't know her positions! !
altiiieX (5:59:02 PM): yes!
altiiieX (5:59:03 PM): ok.
altiiieX (5:59:07 PM): dude so i'm guarding number 9.
altiiieX (5:59:27 PM): i'm playing wing right now, and like we're down on defense by our goal since they have posession.
altiiieX (6:00:05 PM): and like i'm guarding my person and she has the ball and decides to run towards genevra's area(she was on defense) and like, i'm running after my person and i'm on them AND SHE FREAKING SWOOPS IN AND CUTS ME OFF!
altiiieX (6:00:07 PM): dude.
coreoftheapple25 (6:00:07 PM): uhuh
coreoftheapple25 (6:00:15 PM): WOW
coreoftheapple25 (6:00:20 PM): SERIOUSLY?
altiiieX (6:00:23 PM): like, if my person goes into your area, you BACK THE HELL OFF and let me take them.
altiiieX (6:00:39 PM): we switch positions momentarily. you take the center while i hunt them down.
altiiieX (6:00:48 PM): DON'T EFFING CUT ME OFF AND MAKE ME LOSE THEM!
altiiieX (6:00:59 PM): like seriously, i could have taken number 9 down.
altiiieX (6:01:00 PM): but no.
altiiieX (6:01:05 PM): SHE CUTS ME OFF.
altiiieX (6:01:07 PM): ugh.
coreoftheapple25 (6:02:16 PM): wow.
altiiieX (6:02:20 PM): dude, like coach took out jfer to rest her for a bit, and he put in like freaking kim or diana idk, but he put them in for left wing.
altiiieX (6:02:26 PM): THAT'S MY POSITION!
coreoftheapple25 (6:02:32 PM): wow
coreoftheapple25 (6:02:35 PM): woowowowowwowo
altiiieX (6:02:40 PM): and omg, DIANA! she just freaking stands there!
coreoftheapple25 (6:02:42 PM): *shoots coach james*
coreoftheapple25 (6:02:48 PM): I KNOWWW
altiiieX (6:02:50 PM): like, ugh! she doesn't chase the ball or her player!
altiiieX (6:03:12 PM): i got on it.in the last 5 minutes she totally didn't run after her person. like effing a.
altiiieX (6:03:22 PM): i yelled at her. "THAT'S YOUR PERSON!"
altiiieX (6:03:26 PM): "YOU ATTACK THEM!"
altiiieX (6:03:35 PM): and she was all "don't you think i was trying??"
altiiieX (6:03:42 PM): i wanted to yell at her so badly.
altiiieX (6:03:57 PM): WELL YOU'RE NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH SO STOP BEING A FAT SLOB AND LOSE SOME WEIGHT!
coreoftheapple25 (6:03:59 PM): UGH
altiiieX (6:04:03 PM): but i held my tounge.
coreoftheapple25 (6:04:08 PM): i want to have REAL tryoutssssss
altiiieX (6:04:10 PM): torii played field today!
altiiieX (6:04:16 PM): she was good at defense.
coreoftheapple25 (6:04:20 PM): what position?
coreoftheapple25 (6:04:22 PM): oh jk haha
altiiieX (6:04:24 PM): she had this one amazing kick and booted it across the field.
coreoftheapple25 (6:04:28 PM): nice
coreoftheapple25 (6:04:31 PM): dana=goalie?
altiiieX (6:04:39 PM): and she drove their foward out to the sideline and stopped them.
altiiieX (6:04:42 PM): yeah she was.
coreoftheapple25 (6:04:50 PM): whole game?
altiiieX (6:04:51 PM): oh dude. i got taken out!
altiiieX (6:04:53 PM): yeah.
coreoftheapple25 (6:05:11 PM): was coach pissed i couldnt come
altiiieX (6:05:19 PM): like i was taking the ball away from their player and we both fell and rolled down.
altiiieX (6:05:45 PM): the other player didn't get hurt bad, niether did i, but when i got up i was all wobbly and dizzy :P
altiiieX (6:05:49 PM): naw, he just took it.
coreoftheapple25 (6:05:51 PM): LOL nice...
altiiieX (6:05:51 PM): dora wasn't there.
altiiieX (6:05:55 PM): DUDE!
altiiieX (6:06:00 PM): coach is such a freaking pussy.
altiiieX (6:06:04 PM): sorry, but he is.
altiiieX (6:06:06 PM): like ok.
coreoftheapple25 (6:06:10 PM): true dat.
altiiieX (6:06:23 PM): i got to the field at 1! and ten minutes later, the other team is starting to show up.
altiiieX (6:06:37 PM): 1:30, it's only me, jer, nicole, and coach finally showed up.
altiiieX (6:06:43 PM): the first thing coach says.
altiiieX (6:06:50 PM): in this little "pity me" voice.
altiiieX (6:07:09 PM): "the reason i was late to yesterday's game girls, was because i was reffing a game and we had some conflicts"
altiiieX (6:07:12 PM): so i got on his case
coreoftheapple25 (6:07:25 PM): uh-huh sure, coach
altiiieX (6:07:42 PM): "well then, you shouldn't ref a game that could possibly conflict with our games. your team should be your first priority"
coreoftheapple25 (6:07:47 PM): I KNOW
altiiieX (6:07:57 PM): and he was all "that is absolutely right." BUT YOU KNOW HE DOESN'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT WE SAY!
coreoftheapple25 (6:07:59 PM): GO SARAH
altiiieX (6:08:07 PM): so jfer and i took charge of the warm ups.
coreoftheapple25 (6:08:13 PM): YAY SARAH
altiiieX (6:08:18 PM): we ran a huge warm up lap and stretched real good,.
altiiieX (6:08:26 PM): like we made sure everyone ran a lap and stretched.
coreoftheapple25 (6:08:27 PM): *jumps around awkwardly in a cheerleading outfit*
coreoftheapple25 (6:08:40 PM): WOOT WOOT
altiiieX (6:08:40 PM): and then he made us do this stupid drill, but jfer and i took charge and called the shots.
altiiieX (6:08:42 PM): literally.
altiiieX (6:08:56 PM): yeah.
altiiieX (6:09:00 PM): and you know what.
altiiieX (6:09:09 PM): OH!
altiiieX (6:09:14 PM): another thing that pisses me off.
altiiieX (6:09:51 PM): during games, he focuses too much on the other team. like it's good to know what players have good crosses and whatnot, but he spends too much time watching the other team AND NOT ENOUGH TIME WATCHING US TO SEE WHO WORKS GOOD TOGETHER!
altiiieX (6:10:24 PM): and even when he watches the other team, he doesn't use it to his advantage and be like "hey you're going in for so and so watch our for number blah, they have good..."
altiiieX (6:10:26 PM): NO!
coreoftheapple25 (6:10:28 PM): i knowwwwww
coreoftheapple25 (6:10:32 PM): we should boycott
altiiieX (6:10:43 PM): we have to tell him like 30 times "PUT ALINA BACK ON MID FOR JFER!"
altiiieX (6:10:50 PM): he didn't switch her back until 10 minutes later.
coreoftheapple25 (6:10:59 PM): HE DOESNT WANT TO ADMIT HES WRONG.
altiiieX (6:11:03 PM): stupid.
altiiieX (6:11:13 PM): well guess what.
coreoftheapple25 (6:11:23 PM): what?
altiiieX (6:11:26 PM): i got played for more than just a stupid 5 minutes in the first half.
altiiieX (6:11:30 PM): but still he's ugh.
altiiieX (6:11:49 PM): like when jfer got called out, her face was so pissed and confused when he didn't put me in for her,.
coreoftheapple25 (6:11:52 PM): you play more than that usually
altiiieX (6:12:07 PM): she was like "COACH! why didn't you put sarah in for me? i want her to go in for me!"
altiiieX (6:12:13 PM): I KNOW!
altiiieX (6:12:20 PM): i can play a whole game if i want to.
altiiieX (6:12:26 PM): but he doesn't realize that.
coreoftheapple25 (6:12:47 PM): UGHHHH
coreoftheapple25 (6:13:01 PM): not like ginevra who cant do shit
altiiieX (6:13:11 PM): like i was expecting to be a starter and take your position, since i did that last season.
coreoftheapple25 (6:13:11 PM): no offense
altiiieX (6:13:12 PM): but no.
altiiieX (6:13:13 PM): WTF.
altiiieX (6:13:36 PM): if we had cuts, the people that need to be gone are JAIME, genevra, diana, and kim.
altiiieX (6:13:38 PM): no doubt.
altiiieX (6:13:43 PM): OMG. jaime wasn't there today.
altiiieX (6:13:57 PM): when we asked him he said "she has alot of homework"
coreoftheapple25 (6:13:57 PM): and tashi
altiiieX (6:14:03 PM): EFF THAT! so do we!
coreoftheapple25 (6:14:03 PM): WOW
altiiieX (6:14:25 PM): no, tashi is actually good. she just need to not stand around so much. but she's not as bad as diana on the standing part.
coreoftheapple25 (6:14:36 PM): IM IN FUCKING CALC. SHES IN LIKE PRE_ALGEBRA. I THINK I HAVE MORE HOMEWORK THAN HER
NOT TO MENTION APS AND SATS AND SHIT
coreoftheapple25 (6:14:38 PM): AND COLLEGE APPS
altiiieX (6:14:44 PM): hell yeah.
coreoftheapple25 (6:14:50 PM): SCREW YOU, DUMBASS MOTHERFUCKING STUPID COACH
altiiieX (6:14:56 PM): :]
altiiieX (6:15:21 PM): hey brb, i gotta do some tstuff.
coreoftheapple25 (6:15:27 PM): k
coreoftheapple25 (6:15:28 PM): same

10 Things You Wish You Could Say to 10 Different People Right Now:

1. there's a reason why we don't talk.
2. i don't treat you any different than i do him. at least i talk to you.
3. you're not as cool as you think.
4. you need to do something with your life because doing nothing and talking about the same gosh darn thing over and over and over again isn't going to make you magically get a PhD in anything.
5. i think you're adorable. i think you're amazing. i think you're interesting. i want to talk to you more. i want to take a vacation inside of your head. i want to just sit in a room with you and do nothing for days because that's all i want. to just be around you.
6. you need to eat sweetie. you do. i know you're healthier than before, but you need to eat. still.
7. you have anger issues. you have a "me me me me ME" complex. you're the very definition of your stereotype. and honey, coming to practice high gets you nowhere.
8. you're not trying hard enough. you have a cute face, don't waste it.
9. don't bully your little sister. it's gonna affect her later.
10. step up.

9 Things People May Not Know About You:

1. the skinniest i've ever been was 97 pounds at a height of 5' 6 1/2"- 5'7"
2. i think pregnant women with baby bumps are absolutely beautiful.
3. i've always had bangs of some sort, except for when i grew them out in fifth grade. i had one length hair until freshman year when i cut my own bangs.
4. at some point in my life i've played the piano, trumpet, and i'm now currently focusing on guitar.
5. i was a vegetarian for 3 years.
6. since june of '08, this is the first time my hair has been all one color and my natural color. i've been dying my hair since 5th grade.
7. my first crush was in 3rd grade. he was a ginger with freckles and he dated my best friend.
8. i attempted suicide 3 times in 8th grade.
9. i used to be trilingual. i forgot my french.

8 Ways To Win Your Heart:

1. christian
2. you don't have to play an instrument, although that's extra points, but at least knowledge of decent music. and if you don't have a decent playlist, at least have some musical knowledge or understanding. read me some sheet music.
3. you have to be able to handle a 2 yr old and a menopausal lady before you can handle me. i'm just that bipolar and sporadic. you have to be able to calm me down and control me. don't be surprised if i have an emotional meltdown after you say something as simple as "good morning".
4. don't be a potato couch. play a sport, go out, do something.
5. READ. ignorance is not always bliss. read books, a lot of them. read everything. with reading comes writing. at least be able to do poetry. what happened to all the poets?
6. don't be so much of a control freak/needy. sometimes i'll need my space. sometimes i have to do things, even if it's hurting myself. contrary to number 3, you can't control my life. (number 3 is referring to my irrational actions when i'm not in a good state of mind)
7. be nice. be courteous. have manners.
8. have a plan for you life. i'm all good for a spontaneous road trip to canada, but i want to know that you have goals. and if you don't know where you're going or how you're gonna get there. at least know what's going on right now.

7 Things That Cross Your Mind A Lot:

1. food. what can i eat? what can't i eat? what's the nutrition facts on this? can i work this off? should i eat this? but it smells so good. but i know it won't taste good... but i want it. i want something salty. awwww dangit. i just ate it.
2. photography. i have pictures to work on. does this color work? that lighting would be perfect. where's my camera. that picture would be better if they did this. her jawline is perfect, i want her as my model. that's a picture. where the hell is my camera??
3. music. where's my iPod? why can't a decent song be played? oh, i like this one. i need to learn to play this song. where's my guitar? it's so out of tune. i hate bar chords. why do i hear fret? i hate fret! hey, i could write that into a song. where's my song book?
4. what would have happened if back in 8th grade i never made the first mark?
5. homework can go burn.
6. my hair looks gross. i have split ends. i need to cut my hair. but i like long hair. i wanted long hair. but i want short hair too.
7. are they ok?

6 Things You Do Before You Fall Asleep (not in order):

1. brush my teeth.
2. change my clothes.
3. take out my contacts(if i'm wearing them).
4. set my alarms.
5. listen to some music.
6. turn off the lights.

what happened to FIVE?

4 Songs to Describe Your Life:

1. "breathing in a new mentality" - underoath
2. "concentrical" - sonny moore
3. "modern chemistry" - motion city soundtrack
4. "the unwinding cable car" - anberlin

3 Things You Wish You Never Did:

1. one day in 8th grade.
2. february '07
3. quit piano.

2 Things You Want to Do Before You Die:

1. lead a crowd.
2. travel

1 Place You Want To Be At:
1. photoshoot i had to turn down because of today's game :[

The streetlights look so beautiful at 4am when the fog has rolled down from the hills. Now I know what it feels like to be inside of a cloud. I used to make my way to the backyard and sit cross legged in my dog's bed. I'd let the air move it's way inside of me, chilling me, refreshing me, killing me. I'd sit and plan out an elaborate plan to escape. To walk out the front door at 4am and visit the park. Swing through the clouds, breathe what the angels breathe, pretend I live in a ghost town.

RECKLESSbyfar (11:34:23 PM): I want to be like, "Oh hey... Emery! What's up? I got this last minute show... are you guys free?"
altiiieX (11:34:26 PM): i have 6 more pages to read :[
RECKLESSbyfar (11:34:33 PM): "Oh hey Cary! Yeah sure! For you anything!"
altiiieX (11:34:34 PM): do ittt.
altiiieX (11:34:40 PM): that'd be amazing.
RECKLESSbyfar (11:34:57 PM): it'll be like that someday
altiiieX (11:35:02 PM): yes.
altiiieX (11:35:04 PM): someday.
RECKLESSbyfar (11:35:10 PM): Me and Jamie Tworkowski will be best friends
altiiieX (11:35:20 PM): someday for both of us. for you, the booking. for me, photo shoots.
RECKLESSbyfar (11:35:24 PM): and Thrice and Underoath and Emery and Classic Crime and Showbread
RECKLESSbyfar (11:35:27 PM): all my best buds.
altiiieX (11:35:44 PM): i'll know them by association, score! ahahaha jk.
RECKLESSbyfar (11:36:00 PM): when we get a place together
RECKLESSbyfar (11:36:10 PM): we'll have them sleeping in the living room
altiiieX (11:36:18 PM): HEY!
altiiieX (11:36:24 PM): maybe you can chuck your phone at them!
RECKLESSbyfar (11:36:38 PM): ...I do need to get back at Robbie
RECKLESSbyfar (11:36:44 PM): but he might have ninja reflexes.
altiiieX (11:36:54 PM): .... we'll think of something.
RECKLESSbyfar (11:37:41 PM): there's some kid named Matt following me on twitter
altiiieX (11:37:46 PM): lol.
RECKLESSbyfar (11:37:48 PM): idk who he is
RECKLESSbyfar (11:37:54 PM): he doesn't go to Urgency
altiiieX (11:37:58 PM): everyone takes twitter too seriously.
altiiieX (11:38:08 PM): people you don't know will follow you.
altiiieX (11:38:16 PM): but it goes the same like myspace back in 06.
RECKLESSbyfar (11:38:27 PM): I just wish Twitter didn't use the word "follow"
altiiieX (11:38:27 PM): people added you just for the number and the hope they add you back.
altiiieX (11:38:32 PM): same goes for twitter.
altiiieX (11:38:49 PM): they just want the number, doesn't mean they're gonna read your every word.
RECKLESSbyfar (11:38:50 PM): follow makes it seem so creepy
altiiieX (11:38:53 PM): eh.
RECKLESSbyfar (11:39:06 PM): whereas, "so and so" is now your friend!
RECKLESSbyfar (11:39:08 PM): is not creepy
RECKLESSbyfar (11:39:15 PM): but "so and so" is now following you!
RECKLESSbyfar (11:39:17 PM): is creepy
RECKLESSbyfar (11:39:34 PM): especially when taken out of context
altiiieX (11:39:57 PM): omg... atl boys are in it now D:
altiiieX (11:40:05 PM): all time low, mcr, panic, fob, blink...
altiiieX (11:40:09 PM): did i leave anyone out?
altiiieX (11:40:22 PM): they're all in one big twitter conv..
RECKLESSbyfar (11:40:31 PM): I feel so unwanted.
RECKLESSbyfar (11:40:32 PM): lol
altiiieX (11:40:38 PM): then again, atl and fob are touring together.
altiiieX (11:40:43 PM): and cobra..
altiiieX (11:40:47 PM): and metro station..
altiiieX (11:40:51 PM): and hey monday.
RECKLESSbyfar (11:40:56 PM): eww metro...
altiiieX (11:40:59 PM): lol.
altiiieX (11:41:29 PM): but then mikey and pete had their summer of like so they're always connected. mikey and gabe used to party together in jersey during the midtown days...
altiiieX (11:41:37 PM): panic and mark and fob are like borthers.
altiiieX (11:41:46 PM): hero worship is mutual between the three.
altiiieX (11:41:48 PM): ok i'm stopping.
altiiieX (11:41:51 PM): but wait.
altiiieX (11:41:53 PM): wait wait wait.
RECKLESSbyfar (11:41:55 PM): you're a stalker.
altiiieX (11:42:00 PM): cute puppy picture here.
altiiieX (11:42:04 PM): he looks 12!
altiiieX (11:42:05 PM): http://7.media.tumblr.com/um622fWqGm2id8j81SfqZkVZo1_250.png
RECKLESSbyfar (11:42:20 PM): that's not a puppy
altiiieX (11:42:24 PM): i know.
RECKLESSbyfar (11:42:26 PM): I'm not house training that
altiiieX (11:42:28 PM): but he looks soft.
altiiieX (11:42:34 PM): like his hair.
RECKLESSbyfar (11:42:38 PM): we can't keep him.
altiiieX (11:42:45 PM): and his jacket makes him look squisht.
altiiieX (11:42:49 PM): *squishy
altiiieX (11:42:51 PM): BUT I WANNA!
RECKLESSbyfar (11:43:02 PM): He probably belongs to someone else
altiiieX (11:43:07 PM): :[
altiiieX (11:43:09 PM): well wait...
altiiieX (11:43:11 PM): i think.
altiiieX (11:43:19 PM): i don't think him and keltie ever got back together
altiiieX (11:43:21 PM): omg.
altiiieX (11:43:28 PM): it was a serious breakup! not afake!
altiiieX (11:43:30 PM): wooowwww.
altiiieX (11:43:40 PM): i thought they were like the new heidi and spencer pratt.
altiiieX (11:43:53 PM): him being the heidi obviously.
RECKLESSbyfar (11:43:54 PM): if you want to keep him, he stays in your closet
altiiieX (11:44:02 PM): YES PLEASE!
RECKLESSbyfar (11:44:25 PM): let's just hope Sparky doesn't get jealous
altiiieX (11:44:32 PM): no he won't.
altiiieX (11:44:35 PM): of course not.
altiiieX (11:44:36 PM): no.
RECKLESSbyfar (11:44:41 PM): a pet is a huge responsibility, you gotta clean and pet him and feed him and walk him :|
altiiieX (11:44:42 PM): sparky and ry will be fine.
altiiieX (11:44:50 PM): i'll walk him!
altiiieX (11:44:53 PM): and feed him.
altiiieX (11:44:55 PM): and pet his hair.
altiiieX (11:44:59 PM): and talk to him.
RECKLESSbyfar (11:45:00 PM): and train him
altiiieX (11:45:09 PM): and play with him... take that however you will.
altiiieX (11:45:12 PM): and train him.
altiiieX (11:45:19 PM): or more like him school me in guitar.
RECKLESSbyfar (11:45:20 PM): clean after him when he makes messes.
altiiieX (11:45:26 PM): of course of course.
altiiieX (11:45:29 PM): but but but wait.
RECKLESSbyfar (11:45:30 PM): cuz I'm not doing it.
altiiieX (11:45:32 PM): he needs a friend!
RECKLESSbyfar (11:45:44 PM): ....
altiiieX (11:45:49 PM): he needs brendon.
RECKLESSbyfar (11:45:50 PM): :|
altiiieX (11:45:54 PM): or else he's gonna cry
RECKLESSbyfar (11:46:16 PM): are you going to take responsibility for both of them?
altiiieX (11:46:25 PM): http://1.media.tumblr.com/um622fWqGm2hv0gcYohj18TJo1_500.jpg
RECKLESSbyfar (11:46:25 PM): Musicians are very hard to take care of
altiiieX (11:46:26 PM): yes.
RECKLESSbyfar (11:46:32 PM): they have hair products you need to buy
altiiieX (11:46:37 PM): i'll buy them picks and strings.
RECKLESSbyfar (11:46:39 PM): and certain brands of water bottles
altiiieX (11:46:45 PM): and smart water.
RECKLESSbyfar (11:47:17 PM): not to mention all the medical bills
altiiieX (11:47:34 PM): i promise!
altiiieX (11:47:46 PM): please mommy! pleaseee! i reaallyyy reallyyy want one!
RECKLESSbyfar (11:47:53 PM): LOL
RECKLESSbyfar (11:48:04 PM): I'm just sayin, when we move in together
RECKLESSbyfar (11:48:10 PM): they're your problem
altiiieX (11:48:16 PM): my musician, my problem.
RECKLESSbyfar (11:48:40 PM): exactly
RECKLESSbyfar (11:48:45 PM): and if he runs away
RECKLESSbyfar (11:48:57 PM): I'm not gonna say I told you so.
altiiieX (11:49:07 PM): no, but you're gonna buy me ice cream.
altiiieX (11:49:19 PM): and steal my mascara from me so it doesn't end up on my face.
RECKLESSbyfar (11:49:25 PM): ok.
RECKLESSbyfar (11:49:46 PM): we'll even scour the streets with flashlights and make sure he didn't get hit by a car
altiiieX (11:49:55 PM): and post lost signs!
RECKLESSbyfar (11:50:03 PM): and leave food out for him by the door just in case he comes back
altiiieX (11:50:23 PM): we have to leave snickerdoodle cookies 'cause those are his favorite.
altiiieX (11:50:35 PM): and freddie mercury CDs for brendon.
RECKLESSbyfar (11:50:57 PM): oh boy....
altiiieX (11:51:13 PM): no no no, not "oh boy".
altiiieX (11:51:19 PM): my boy
altiiieX (11:51:20 PM): :]
RECKLESSbyfar (11:51:27 PM): I'm gonna have a dream
RECKLESSbyfar (11:51:31 PM): that we're living in a flat together
RECKLESSbyfar (11:51:49 PM): and Ryan Ross gets amnesia and is even more helpless than a 3 year old
RECKLESSbyfar (11:51:54 PM): outside of our flat...
RECKLESSbyfar (11:51:59 PM): and you're going to take him in
RECKLESSbyfar (11:52:04 PM): and he'll never see the day of light again
RECKLESSbyfar (11:52:10 PM): *light of day
RECKLESSbyfar (11:53:30 PM): and when you do take him out, people will be all, "Isn't he that one kid? From that one band? That went missing?"
RECKLESSbyfar (11:53:38 PM): and you'll be all, "NO! MINE!"
RECKLESSbyfar (11:53:46 PM): :|
altiiieX (11:53:49 PM): :]
RECKLESSbyfar (11:54:13 PM): and I'll be standing off in the distance with a -_-;;;; face.
altiiieX (11:54:45 PM): no, you'll be standing off on the side trying to keep brendon from running into traffic.
altiiieX (11:54:57 PM): by occupying him with skittles and capri sun.
RECKLESSbyfar (11:55:05 PM): is he known for running into traffic?
RECKLESSbyfar (11:55:07 PM): and why me?
altiiieX (11:55:28 PM): because i'm trying to keep the people away from poor little amnesia ryan.
RECKLESSbyfar (11:55:35 PM): I only find him semi-attractive
altiiieX (11:55:56 PM): he's gonna work his puppy dog eyes on you!
altiiieX (11:55:59 PM): and his smirk!
RECKLESSbyfar (11:56:09 PM): he does look awful cuddly like a teddy baer
RECKLESSbyfar (11:56:10 PM): *bear
RECKLESSbyfar (11:56:11 PM): wait
RECKLESSbyfar (11:56:12 PM): no
RECKLESSbyfar (11:56:20 PM): you're not doing this to me
RECKLESSbyfar (11:56:25 PM): YOUR RESPONSIBILITY
RECKLESSbyfar (11:56:43 PM): I'm not taking care of any musicians unless they're playing shows for me
altiiieX (11:57:33 PM): bear?
altiiieX (11:57:34 PM): http://i175.photobucket.com/albums/w156/wet__dream/brendon%20urie/pics/BEAR.jpg
altiiieX (11:57:35 PM): :]
RECKLESSbyfar (11:57:48 PM): LOL
altiiieX (11:57:58 PM): old picture, so old. so old.
altiiieX (11:58:43 PM): wanna see emo ryan??!??
altiiieX (11:58:44 PM): http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y24/x_Never_Say_Goodbye_x/Brendon%20Urie%20and%20Ryan%20Ross/brendy%20bear%20the%20panic%20people%20xD/aodrable--large-msg-117129549546.jpg
RECKLESSbyfar (11:58:58 PM): oy.
altiiieX (11:59:03 PM): oh high school...
RECKLESSbyfar (11:59:04 PM): Sarah, your musicians
altiiieX (11:59:13 PM): yes, my musicians.
RECKLESSbyfar (11:59:28 PM): I'm not taking care of Brendon. Under any circumstances
RECKLESSbyfar (12:00:09 AM): my musician crush screwed me over and the other ones I had are married
altiiieX (12:01:12 AM): but but but.
altiiieX (12:01:15 AM): they're so cute!
altiiieX (12:01:16 AM): http://1.media.tumblr.com/um622fWqGm2imjqj5p9DCy36o1_500.jpg
altiiieX (12:01:17 AM): look.
altiiieX (12:01:21 AM): they love you cary!
RECKLESSbyfar (12:01:33 AM): well not until you graduate!
RECKLESSbyfar (12:01:51 AM): we can't even afford our own place now
altiiieX (12:02:33 AM): see! http://i241.photobucket.com/albums/ff301/Clandestines_DarkAngel_13/My%20Loves/BrendonUrieheart.jpg
altiiieX (12:02:35 AM): <3333
RECKLESSbyfar (12:03:19 AM): are you trying to make me have a crush on this kid?
RECKLESSbyfar (12:03:26 AM): I thought they were all pot heads
altiiieX (12:03:42 AM): don't forget the alcohol.
RECKLESSbyfar (12:03:56 AM): eh I'm okay with alcohol in moderation
altiiieX (12:04:02 AM): lol.
RECKLESSbyfar (12:04:14 AM): drunk musicians can be pretty funny
altiiieX (12:04:56 AM): AHAHA i know. jon walker gets this lisp...
altiiieX (12:06:15 AM): ryan is gonna be sad http://11.media.tumblr.com/um622fWqGm2iweoiCAdjqayfo1_500.jpg
RECKLESSbyfar (12:06:28 AM): because?
altiiieX (12:06:33 AM): idk...
altiiieX (12:06:35 AM): he just is1
altiiieX (12:06:37 AM): *!
RECKLESSbyfar (12:06:50 AM): when he asks you for a place to stay
RECKLESSbyfar (12:06:53 AM): then come bug me
RECKLESSbyfar (12:07:05 AM): for right now, I'm not joining the Panic! fever.
altiiieX (12:07:13 AM): :]
altiiieX (12:07:19 AM): there isn't a ! anymor.
altiiieX (12:07:22 AM): *anymore.
RECKLESSbyfar (12:08:32 AM): oh well then
RECKLESSbyfar (12:08:35 AM): I still refuse
RECKLESSbyfar (12:08:48 AM): besides, aren't they old?
altiiieX (12:10:24 AM): lol yeah.
altiiieX (12:10:25 AM): no/
altiiieX (12:10:28 AM): not really./
altiiieX (12:10:31 AM): 22-24.
RECKLESSbyfar (12:19:47 AM): ok
RECKLESSbyfar (12:19:48 AM): well
RECKLESSbyfar (12:19:59 AM): they're still sleeping in your closet
altiiieX (12:20:15 AM): oh yes they are!
RECKLESSbyfar (12:20:17 AM): I don't want to wake up and find one of them in bed with us
RECKLESSbyfar (12:20:24 AM): because I will throw a fit.
altiiieX (12:20:24 AM): lol.
altiiieX (12:20:31 AM): what if they sleep at the foot of the bed?
altiiieX (12:20:34 AM): on top of the covers?
RECKLESSbyfar (12:20:37 AM): idc how cute the puppy dog faces are
altiiieX (12:20:41 AM): all curled up.
altiiieX (12:20:48 AM): they'll keep our feet warm!
RECKLESSbyfar (12:20:51 AM): I'm pretty sure they're bigger than we are
altiiieX (12:21:04 AM): ryan is skinny...
RECKLESSbyfar (12:21:23 AM): you're going to need a pretty big bed
altiiieX (12:23:17 AM): done.

GAH! COULD YOU JUST BE A NORMAL FATHER FOR ONCE? COULD YOU NOT DRINK EVERY SINGLE SECOND OF YOUR STUPID LIFE? COULD YOU? I DON'T THINK YOU CAN! 'CAUSE YOU'RE JUST A MUNDANE ALCOHOLIC!

AND DON'T YOU DARE PIN THIS ON ME! DON'T YOU DARE SAY IT ANYMORE! YOU DO NOT DRINK BECAUSE OF ME! YOU USE ANYTHING AS AN EXCUSE TO DRINK! "MY QUADRIPLEGIC FRIEND WHO WAS CRIPPLED BY A DRUNK DRIVER DIED, SO I'M GONNA GET PLASTERED!" "I HAVE AN INFECTION IN MY EYE AND I'M TAKING ANTIBIOTICS FOR THE PAIN, SO I'M GONNA GO GET DRUNK!" "I DON'T WORK TODAY, SO I'M GONNA DRINK!" SCREW THAT! YOU DRINK AS MUCH ALCOHOL AS YOU INHALE!

i'm just... i'm giving up. i really am. i'm done. i'm through. kill yourself. do it! i don't care! and if i find you vomiting blood one day from your cerosis, well... don't expect me to help you any bit.
i hope you get hit by a drunk driver.

just stop yelling at me, please, stop it! i don't need this, i don't need this, i don't need this. i can't take this, i can't take this, and i won't take this.

relapse.

Is it me or does Fall Out Boy try too hard now?
Nostalgia; See also: From Under A Cork Tree.

I had a good break... really good. I'll lightly recap it, but for the most part you can go to my 365 page and read it all there. My 365.

Saturday was Valentine's Day. I attended a wedding and then proceeded to play monopoly online and eat everything chocolate in the house.
Sunday I went to church.
Monday I slept over at Jfer's house, and left Tuesday morning.
Tuesday night I went to a dinner party.
Wednesday night I went to Urgency to help Cary stack all the chairs in the sanctuary. After that we tried to do the hardest puzzle ever.
Thursday night was the show!
Friday I spent limping in pain, and editing photos. I went to Urgency that night.
Saturday I spent editing photos.
Sunday I stayed home from church to work on photos, but actually slept all day. Later that night I went out to dinner with Cary.


I'm too edgy right now. Say one thing wrong and the flood of insults will come pouring down. Although I won't verbally say it, remember that my mind is working 24/7 to the confines of my skull. Thursday and Friday were good days for me. Thursday I get to do what I love, where I love it, and with something I love (photography, Urgency, music). Friday I finally go to Urgency after a month and have good talks with people that I haven't seen in a while. Also the girl sitting next to me told me that I sing really good, which gave me a confidence boost.

After that it kinda went downhill. My mother is telling me I need to lose weight, and my father just indirectly told me I'm not pretty(enough). As if I needed this right now. I'm still trying to drag myself out of that rut I was in last month.

Hills hills hills, get me out of the hills.
Move me away from the mountains, with peaks so sharp.
Keep driving through the flat lands, the dusty winds will push us out.
Stop at the ocean, the salt will burn,
but gosh... doesn't it feel good to move without gravity?


I'm so close to getting all of these photo done. I can't wait!

D:<
Git Snake Bit!

altiiieX (1:47:57 PM): OH OH OH.
altiiieX (1:48:00 PM): best story ever.
RECKLESSbyfar (1:48:07 PM): oh dear
altiiieX (1:48:08 PM): i was soooo dead when i got home.
RECKLESSbyfar (1:48:12 PM): uh huh
altiiieX (1:48:21 PM): that i'm in my room and i'm walking out the door to go to the bathroom.
altiiieX (1:48:23 PM): oh, man.
altiiieX (1:48:31 PM): dude... i gotta like draw a picture for you.
altiiieX (1:48:33 PM): hold up.
altiiieX (1:48:35 PM): MS Paint!
RECKLESSbyfar (1:48:48 PM): yay!
RECKLESSbyfar (1:48:57 PM): like the cat in the car picture!
altiiieX (1:51:16 PM): http://i39.tinypic.com/3321low.jpg
altiiieX (1:51:22 PM): ok, the door is open like that.
RECKLESSbyfar (1:51:27 PM): ok
RECKLESSbyfar (1:51:32 PM): is that you?
altiiieX (1:51:41 PM): and i walk and my head just smacks in with the width of the door.
RECKLESSbyfar (1:51:48 PM): LOL
altiiieX (1:51:50 PM): full on, forehead. SMACK
RECKLESSbyfar (1:51:56 PM): awwww
altiiieX (1:51:57 PM): so hard i bounce back.
RECKLESSbyfar (1:52:01 PM): poor Sarah
altiiieX (1:52:15 PM): i cover my head with my hand and shuffled on to the bathroom....
altiiieX (1:52:29 PM): i almost tripped on my shirt when i bounced back...
RECKLESSbyfar (1:52:39 PM): that's a long shirt
altiiieX (1:52:43 PM): it was on the floor, i changed into other clothes.
RECKLESSbyfar (1:52:48 PM): oh
altiiieX (1:53:16 PM): and then i fell asleep on my stomach. and that only happens when i'm reaallyyyy wasted.
RECKLESSbyfar (1:53:46 PM): the straight edge kind of wasted.
altiiieX (1:53:49 PM): yes.
RECKLESSbyfar (1:53:50 PM): :P
altiiieX (1:53:51 PM): ahaha
RECKLESSbyfar (1:54:22 PM): ...lol straight edge wasted

If you want to keep tabs on me ('cause I know there are people that do), you can measure my color by reading what I write for the most part. Not like blog writings, I mean my free-forms. I'm not sure whether to call them poems or lyrics, even though when I write them down I hear them sung in my head.

Unfortunately, I do not have the dates to these, only approximations. I keep these on the notepad feature in my phone :P

(about two/three weeks ago)
I, came down from the sky,
from the heavens above.
Don't you know that it's not-
You, came up from the earth,
spread leaves to the sun.
Rain drops beaded on your hair.

(about two/three weeks ago, maybe a day or two after the previous)
Open your eyes to the sun,
let it blind you.
Open your ears to the sound,
let it overwhelm you.
Write your name down in the sand,
let the ocean take you in.

-As you can see, I was generally in a happy mood. I was in the blue(that's good as far as "measuring my color").

(this was over the weekend)
Aren't you sick of making me shake?
Pushing me down, but I have a backup plan.
Call it, "Safety! Safety!"
I'm running out.
You can chase me, I'll run, but I won't hide.
Find me, find me.
I'm calling, "Safety! Safety!"
You won't find me now, I'm above the gray.

(this morning)
Get in, get in.
I'm calling you.
Ask before, "Have you heard?"
There's a light that shines brighter, than this.
Never forget, you can see through the dark.

-Yeah, I was/still am in a crappy state, but I'm trying to keep my head above the waters. You can see that 'cause the last two try to end on a happy note. If you were to measure my color, I'd be in the gray(contrary to the words "I'm above the gray", but that's not for you to decide).

I think in the first two entries, I was listening to a whole lot of slow stuff. Yeah, I remember singing those words... It was nice and slow to where you could hold a note so soft that you're voice would quaver even still.

The last two, being that they're recent, I know for a fact have been written with Underoath either in my ears, in my head, or something. I hope to dear God that you are not going to read this and jump to the conclusion that "Underoath makes you feel sad"(such as many others have done with bands like My Chemical Romance and Linkin Park), because this is completely the opposite. Listening to Underoath has kept me composed, but not only that(and much more), they have kept me here. Yes, here. There have been a couple times these past two weeks where... well I think you get which road this is heading(And I am not one to linger there. Shoot, I nearly own property on that road).


PLEASE. Don't abuse this information. Yeah, I know. I'm posting this out to everyone and anyone with a computer(which is nearly everyone), but please don't exploit this information. If you do, it's on your own conscience. All I can do is pray for you, and for me.


"I'm the desperate
And You're the Savior"

I just realized how much I need Urgency. How much I need fellowship, a positive environment, a good word.

I've missed church for the past two weeks, due to finals and things like that. I just noticed right now that I've been getting really snappy, my mind isn't in a good place, my emotions are down in the gray, I don't care like I used to... I just can't hold my ground right now.

I've realized how weak I am when I'm alone, despite knowing that God is always with me. If I forget about Him for a mere split second, if I just walk away for a bit... I'm bombarded by the world. And it's just too much for me to handle. Alone. Keyword: alone. I can't handle things like this alone, but with Him, I know I can.

Last night I think I may have jumped to conclusions too fast, or my mind made me think things. I'm about 70% sure that my father was drinking last night. I smelt it first when he talked. Then I saw his old glass with what looked like white wine. And towards the end of the night, his words were slightly slurred and he had a slight drawl. That's my only proof. It upset me, made me sick to my stomach, gave me a hellish migraine, made me want to kick, scream, punch a wall... made me stay up until 2am.

Around 1am, I got that feeling that I always get. The feeling in my stomach when I know I'm about to do something that I shouldn't do. And even knowing what's going to happen, I still go along. It's like adrenaline. Once it's instilled in you, you can't just stop.

So I screwed up. I messed up, made a mistake. Two actually. I'm trying to find something good out of this, just so I don't feel as bad as I already do. The only thing I can come up with is that my internal organs weren't affected. I didn't mess with my liver, stomach, kidney, GI tract. Ahaha, ok... so that still doesn't justify what I did.

It's kinda weird that I'm typing this out, I normally wouldn't do this, but I'm trying to get over this, and I think telling someone will help. Because then there is someone that will hold me accountable for my actions.


"The floors are shaking
And we've lost our step
Oh Lord, have mercy on us all"

Media Play in the Great Mall.

altiiieX (9:42:08 PM): oh dude.
altiiieX (9:42:14 PM): you're gonna think i'm such a dork for this.
altiiieX (9:42:21 PM): like seriously... it's so bad.
ToriiTrainwreck (9:42:28 PM): ??
altiiieX (9:42:33 PM): so you know how i took a test during lunch/
altiiieX (9:42:39 PM): well i went a bit over into ssr.
altiiieX (9:42:50 PM): and so mr bautista's class comes in and takes their seats.
altiiieX (9:43:02 PM): and this guy sits down next to me, but i don't see his face or w/e.
altiiieX (9:43:14 PM): and i'm just staring at the last problem willing my brain to work.
altiiieX (9:43:54 PM): and the dude looks like he's in pain. making these weird noises, breathing weirdly. like he exhales deeply and then inhales not so much. and he's kinda fidgetty.
altiiieX (9:44:28 PM): and my mind immediately says "FINISH THE DARN TEST! THE BOY'S A VAMPIRE AND IS GONNA EAT YOU ALIIIVEEEEEE!!!"
ToriiTrainwreck (9:44:46 PM): LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.
altiiieX (9:44:51 PM): AHAH.
ToriiTrainwreck (9:45:04 PM): YOU'RE SERIOUS.
altiiieX (9:45:12 PM): i am.
altiiieX (9:45:16 PM): i'm so serious.
altiiieX (9:45:38 PM): like i seriously got all this "bio class"-ness in my head.
altiiieX (9:46:00 PM): but then i saw the guy and was all "he's not even cute!" and dropped my theory.
ToriiTrainwreck (9:46:15 PM): Awhhhh!
altiiieX (9:46:55 PM): maybe in a nerdy way... but not like he's my "destiny" way.
ToriiTrainwreck (9:47:34 PM): x]

( too long. )

Cary (4:39:46 PM): how was your day otherwise?
altiiieX (4:40:55 PM): ummm i woke up like a zombie looked in the mirror and was all "it's too early for this" my eyes looked horrible.

when my mother was driving me home from Unplugged i spotted my father's truck turning into the little shopping center where Target is. my mother dropped me off at his house and 5 minutes later my father walked in clutching a small brown paper bag. immediately i put two and two together. you don't buy things in plain brown paper bags unless you bought liquor from a liquor store. and well, my father is an alcoholic and starts drinking as soon as he wakes up, or after work, however the day plays out. anywho, he put down the bag on the kitchen counter. i lingered there as if to find some food to eat, knowing that sooner or later he would have to go down the hall to his room to set down his car keys and take off his sweater. being the sneaky teenager that i am, i waited until he did and then stole a look inside the bag, being careful not to make it do that crinkle sound as a sign of what i was doing. all i could make out were the words "Jose C...". google is my friend. typed in "jose c alcohol" in the search. my lucky day, "jose cuervo tequila" comes us. click over to the images search to confirm it was the same bottle. what do ya know? it was.

i didn't say anything about it because i was having a swell day and wasn't gonna let him dampen it. plus, he was already really drunk... so eh. as long as i could blast music in my ears, i was safe from his drunk rants/questions.

after he went to bed i searched the kitchen for it. found it in the same spot where he hid the beer. he bought one of those cardboard cases of beer. idk... say... october? or september, idk, around there. it had to at least have 24 in it, most likely more since they were cans. well i found those a long while back, and i check tonight and there were only 2 left. when i first found them there was at least 3/4 left. disappointing. i knew i should have poured em out. ok, back to the tequila. found it in the same spot. a third of it was already gone. i checked the alcohol percentage, 40%! holy cow.

this means i'm gonna have to call auntie judi again and tell her. i'd tell my mother.. but she doesn't understand quite well. i mean, she does because she was married to him when all he drank was tequila and vodka, but i don't think she'll understand where i'm at with dealing through this or w/e. she won't get my stance on the issue...

aside from that, whenever he's super drunk, he talks in his sleep. a lot. once he talked for two hours straight. loud too. i couldn't sleep, and on a school night too. but he was talking again tonight. i put my phone to take a video and placed it right by his door and recorded a bit of it, ok 8 minutes of it, but only about 2 minutes or so are of him talking. just my luck, right when i take my phone away and stop recording he decides to start yelling out a string of profanities. i got kinda scared right there, thinking he yelling at me or something, but then i just kinda laughed about it.

a while back i used to go through all of the plastic Rite Aid bags in the house to find his receipts from buying wine and i did the math. he spent about $150 a month on wine. at the least. kinda sad, he could use it for something better. eh, i could even get the money :P
but that's 'cause he buys cheap table wine... 8 bucks at the lowest. so with this tequila being at least 12 bucks... maybe even 20, depends on what kind he bought, well then... there's a whole new number.

well i'm gonna take some nyquil so i can sleep :P




"They say that good boys walk straight on white lines.
Good boys keep their livers clean,
And smoke out of their lungs.
'Cause it's all about what you've done,
Good boys don't make mistakes to learn from.

'Cause when heaven comes,
They won't be caught being young.

Grace make your way to the well,
To those who deserve it.
After all they've earned it."